Are You Having To Deal With A Crisis?
First, I'm not referring to who to call, or materially how to deal. And you should do that. I will put some links at the bottom for those who need that too.
However here, let us predominately talk about what to do spiritually. So few really touch on that topic.
In this time of Covid, that alone is delving many into crisis. Some have lost loved ones to the disease. Others fear they may. Some feel confided with a dysfunctional person. Yet others actually enjoy the privacy.
Some are suffering for different reasons that have nothing to do with CoVid or quarantine - such as miscarriage, car accidents, teenagers going astray or adult kids who already did, severe financial issues, a cheating spouse, sudden hospitalization, Nursing Home abuse, loss of any significant dream that was cherished, loss of safety, trauma, and more.
Some may not know this, but nonclinical depression may get so bad that one feels dead inside. No feelings at all. Wondering what the heck was the cause of that sensation? It's usually depression. Not always, as there can be neurological causes. Don't be afraid to take medical action [which may include a talk doctor]. Ayurveda was sent to us because God has nothing against medicine. Tho it can also be from exhaustion or just being tired. Take a nap, probably need some nutrition / prasadam too.
Regarding the emotional side of feeling empty or nothing - and you know if this is you or not - it's often a type of depression. Possibly shock. Or more subtle shock of a problem that goes on and on.
One needs to include spiritual action, and to genuinely take such action. Matter of fact, those who minimize it or feel it foolish, are often unaware of it's power. It not only helps, but makes a huge difference. Start to lift that veil of illusion by making a phone call :) or connection to God.
For example, if a loved one dies, those who do not believe in God nor life after death, compared to those who do = those with belief are more likely to have their healing improve. Most anyone feels better knowing a loved one still exists, has carried on, and God is taking care of them. This is not mere blind belief. Krishna Consciousness is a science, plus a yoga. Not mere sentiment. Anyway, I've discussed proof of God elsewhere on this blog.
I know someone who lost their mother. The mom was very old. The adult child even felt that way when the mother was alive but suffering so much due to very old age. Now, it has been quite a while since the mother died, yet the adult child revealed still feeling pain, crying, etc. Of course in one sense, there is no time limit on grieving. Simply that adding spiritual life helps one mend. And this person is an atheist. Need I say more? Yet I wish to reiterate, I am not advocating flaky belief. Repeatedly, Krishna Conscious has proven to be scientific.
Therefore, taking spiritual action truthfully helps. It lifts the veil of illusion, it brings genuine hope, and even love of God. Start by finding what works for you as an individual to connect with Krishna. See the many links below, as well as on the side bar of this blog. Many ideas there! :)
When one is feeling down-and-out, initially it may be hard to believe some form of devotional service [which includes prayer] will help. Yet, the moment it is genuinely tried, you will see & feel - spiritual actions do bring relief. And when the time is right, it's uplifting. It is a science. Thus, if the reader is new to Prabhupada's method, read how, in the links all around this blog.
This doesn't mean one should not feel sad etc over the loss of a loved one, or some other serious problem. That is not really spiritual. More often it's Impersonalism. You feel what you feel, not what someone else tells you to feel. Simply, adding spiritual life adds relief, and more. It is like a boat assisting you to cross over rough waves.
To those concerned it may be selfish taking care of you - facts are that you can't serve others if you are a mess. Or even just having difficulty getting through the day. Therefore, accept time to mend. Sleep enough [not too much, not too little]; eat lovely though easy to digest prasadam. Deep breathing can help give relaxation to some. Give it a try; possibly add visualizing beautiful pictures of Krishna or chanting.
Do not allow anyone stress you - in other words - choose your association wisely, especially select devotees who are sensitive to what you are going through. They should be good at "Active Listening," whether they call it that or are unaware of that name yet utilized the process. Followed by encouraging words when they can. However, sincerity is an important part of all this.
Of course if you need to stop and cry etc, go ahead. I once read of a young woman who had acid thrown in her face. Previously she was pretty. Now, no. Zero. Some time passed and she had good spirits. The question was asked of her, from my memory: "How do you keep your spirits up? Don't you ever cry?" She replied, from my memory: "I allow myself to cry 5 minutes a day, then I make myself turn it off and go about my life." Again, she had some time to heal before coming to this point, but it is a nice philosophy to keep in our brains and retrieved when ready.
Also,
do your best to keep a routine going, or to be regulated. This helps a
person feel more in control at a time when they may feel out of control.
Most of us will go thru the stages everyone goes thru: Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. This is normal. They can repeat, and skip steps at times. Go ahead and grieve, but grieve with God. Talk to Him/Her, pray, cry, find hope, find love.
Today I was reading something that spurred all this in me. It is actually the cause of this post. Before I quote it, if you are a New Ager or similar and do not believe anything bad should ever happen, this post is not for you. [I DO respect New Agers.] If you believe that you wish nothing bad to happen but sometimes it does, keep reading.
The reality around us is that the material world is always changing, for good but also for bad. Buildings go down, and up. People get new living quarters, or kicked out. Money comes in a windfall, or it is all taken away. This list can go on. It is the reality of the world we live in.
On a higher level, we can understand that the material world is not a place we are meant to live in eternally. Rather it's to help us detach from that idea. Acknowledging that "stuff" happens is one way it does that.
Karma in kali yuga [the age we live in], is very austere. We should not, however, sit in judgement of others karma, or our own. That lacks compassion most of the time. Nor are we always accurate. Instead, I find it healthier to accept the fact that no one is perfect, everyone makes mistakes, and the material world is set up to bring us back home - back to Godhead.
So yes, bad things happen due to karma. But to really and properly know which karma is acting [Sanchita Karma?, Praarabdha Karma? Etc Karma?], what depth is goes, what route it took, what triggered it, etc - - is very difficult. I often feel only God knows this. Maybe the occasional [Vedic] astrologer, as astrology is a map of our karma. But in this age, they even disagree on charts. ha The science is known to have been somewhat lost. One may be able to find a good Jyotish astrologer, but it takes time, and knowledge. So much effort, time taken away from the immediate need for God.
With that said, the following is just part of what I was reading. I can't post the whole chapter here :) but it got me thinking:
Prabhupada: "There are many results of past sinful activities for which we are suffering at the present moment, and we may be suffering in the future due to our present sinful activities. But all of these reactions to sinful deeds can immediately be stopped if we take to Kṛṣṇa consciousness. As evidence for this, Rūpa Gosvāmī quotes a verse from the Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam (11.14.19). This verse is in connection with Lord Kṛṣṇa’s instruction to Uddhava, where He says, “My dear Uddhava, devotional service unto Me is just like a blazing fire that can burn into ashes unlimited fuel supplied to it.” The purport is that as the blazing fire can burn any amount of fuel to ashes, so devotional service to the Lord in Kṛṣṇa consciousness can burn up all the fuel of sinful activities." ~ From book, the Art Of Eternal Love, By His Divine Grace A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami.
Put simply: Active devotional service makes bad things unwind and stop happening! We can't speculate on which ones or when, but it is the way end to karma. It even places one on a transcendental platform.
Of course, when one is stressed due to crisis, it's important to locate that which you can do regarding devotional service. When feeling 'out of it,' one may not initially believe it will help. That is the mind and negative feelings giving a hard time. :) Tell them both that they can still be there later, but for now, to please stop talking [in your head], sit down, and be quiet. :) When you know you do not have to forget about it, just put it on hold, that gives you power to proceed.
Please do not use an "all or none" mood where, if you did not get completely happy or giggly, you decide it is worthless and quit. Rather, notice and accept the small victories. In that way, they can build one onto the other.
Maybe you can just fall onto your knees and start to pray. Maybe you want to do more. Meditate on His beauty and take shelter of Him. We 'start' where we can, then we increase as time moves on, so as not to loose that connection.
And a connection we can indeed make. Some think because we are not pure or perfect devotees, we therefore can't connect. But how do you think we become pure devotees? By trying, by starting. Furthermore, the connection has less to do with our purity and more to do with His mercy. He sees us trying, and lets us in.
That feeling, the connection, is what makes everything bad start to go away. One should try to get as calm as doable, then pray or chant or both. [It still works if you can't get calm or centered, tho over time, try.]
Both prayer and chanting is a great idea. They work when you merely try. Anyone who would like to add learning Mantra & Energy Healing Techniques can find out about that on my blog page here, or at my fb group here. It's something where you learn it at your own pace, your own timing, privately, etc.
Continuing, some speculate that the good feelings we receive from prayer or mantra-chanting can be explained away by science. I have written about this in the past, so will just give an abridged version here.
Even if that is true, Who do you think put those feelings, neurons, atoms, connections - inside of us, and why? Krishna of course. And the 'why' part, is to make it easier for us conditioned souls to reconnect with Him. Even if someone believes physics has something to do with it - no problem. God gave us physics to use for our benefit. He's given us many ways to reach out to Him. This does not mean He won't do His own divine intervention. Until we become pure devotees, do not fear utilizing science. He gave it to you for a reason.
Placing these within, is like putting up telephone polls, or these days cell phone towers. They are put there to make a phone work. God wants us back, so until we become as pure as needed, He installed wires /nerve endings / photons/ etc - so we can connect. Wouldn't any parent whose child left home, give them their phone number plus a a way to use it? Of course they would. So has our Divine Parents. :)
Moving on, Krishna hears us when we talk to Him. I will put a few quotes from Prabhupada telling us it's ok to pray. Once someone told me it is not our process. They were a new devotee and unaware that it is a part of our process:
Prabhupada: "I am glad to learn that Jadurani is improving in her health, and I shall always pray to Krishna for her health and prolonged life." ~ SP Letter to Satsvarupa, Seattle, Sept 28, 1968
"We do not need any high qualifications to offer prayers to the Supreme personality of Godhead. Whatever our social or intellectual position may be, we can offer prayers. We do not have to be very learned or very scholarly, nor do we have to present our prayers in nicely selected words that are poetical, rhetorical or metaphorical. None of this is required, although if it is there it is very nice. We simply have to express our feelings, but in order to be able to do this we have to be aware of our position. Once we are aware of our position, our feelings can be expressed sincerely and automatically." ~ SP quote from Elevation to Krsna Consciousness
"I shall be praying to Krishna for your steady recovery and continual advancement in Krishna Consciousness, and hope you will be feeling physically stronger when you come to see me in New York. Please keep me informed how you are feeling." ~ Srila Prabhupada Letter, March 23, 1968
Here's my own memory on prayer, however small: Prior to Srila Prabhupada's disappearance [passing over], when he was very sick, he asked everyone to pray for him. Temples world-wide. I remember where I lived at that time and how we all felt so unqualified, yet we were instructed to pray.
Now going full circle :) add to that prayer, the glorification of God thru chanting His names, and wow!
What if you still don't feel it? That's okay, because what we feel can be fickle - thank goodness for that when under negative circumstances. Feelings can indeed change. So take right actions = get right. :) Changes comes with practice.
It also comes from meditating on beautiful Krsna. And with allowing. Be patient. Keep trying.
Here's something helpful we use to do in the ashrama: Pick one
of Prabhupada's books. Hold it, close your eyes, open it and let your finger drop
anywhere on the page. Then read wherever it is pointing. I can't begin to tell you how many
times a godsister did this and said it was exactly what they needed to
hear/read - that it addressed their personal problem and brought relief.
Another helper. :) It's important to reduce your internal stress responses [cortisol, etc] and this is done thru blissful spiritual life. As I've said throughout this blog, leave any shame and guilt at the door - we are here to elevate ourselves and that only happens when we jump into the bliss. Find some transcendental music. Spiritual Music that is simultaneously grounding or you can relate. Mongalananda is a good one for that.
And yet another. DO something. Don't misunderstand, as this is not a time to make major decisions, or do anything drastic. No. Matter of fact, there's a point where one freezes in shock with upsets. As mentioned above, one must go thru the stages. Here I am speaking of - when moving away from being frozen. Which can happen at almost any point. Thus, when ready, find a devotional activity that makes you feel good.
It's ok to feel good. If in your sadness etc, you have a problem with it, know that since it's related to God, it's perfectly okay. Of course, you feel what you feel; just know you will get there in time. To feel good doing such activities is spiritual. Matter of fact, one way to help our loved ones, wherever they may be, is to become Krishna Conscious ourselves. Prabhupada said that generations both forward and back/ancestors, will be liberated by our Krsna Consciousness.
Another: Sometimes sharing about Krishna will also make one feel good! When we tell others who are favorable [don't tackle the arguers right now], or tell devotee friends about the Lord, than we are giving less energy or attention to issues we are going through. That is a good start. Taking it higher, this Krishna Katha/talk will add spiritual energy into you, moving on up to Personal Krishna Consciousness - where we become more conscious of Krishna, and less of maya or the suffering she causes us.
So reach out and touch someone [trustworthy] with Krsna Katha, or play uplifting spiritual music, or read your favorite Prabhupada book [Nectar of Devotion is an inspiring place to get lost!], or stand before your at-home altar or a pic and talk to Krishna along with chanting His names: Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare ... Do any or all of the above, find something that helps you focus, helps you find peace - add to it the chanting - and allow yourself be happy, or at least start with ... not miserable. It may arrive in steps that build, but it works! :) <3
RELATED and HELPFUL LINKS:
First listed are emergency numbers etc, followed by Krishna Conscious helpful links.
USA National Suicide Prevention Hotline -- 1-800-273-8255
Crisis Text Line - ext 741741 in the US or UK (686868 in Canada), or message Crisis Text Line on Facebook.
USA National Domestic Violence Hotline -- 1-800-799-7233
Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline -- 1-800-422-4453
YouthLine - Text teen2teen to 839863, or call 1-877-968-8491
RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) 1-800-656-4673
Drug or alcohol abuse - SAMHSA National Helpline – 1-800-662-4357
USA - Can call 911 for an emergency or your local emergency hotline.
Grief Guide - Good page with tips on how to grieve, undoing myths, etc.
Life & Music - Life Has It's Ups and Downs - Telling a bit of my own, may help others. Plus, music as a big helper!
ANYONE CAN GO TO KRISHNALOKA :)
Absorption [in Krishna] is Key.
Depression Or Mental Illness - This is also about non-clinical or situational depression. Basically from any cause, even abuse. It is not about how to deal with abuse. [There's other posts about that.] It is about how to heal. I include it here because it may be very helpful for those in crisis, to help them move on, when ready.
Smile Awhile :) - Cartoon page, including a few devotee karmics. :)
Gallery Of Holy Names Blissfulness
* Save this page to your favorites so you will always have the emergency and other links. :)
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