The following may be disturbing for some. If you want bliss, there are many such links to the sidebar of this blog, or beneath. Most of my posts are based in bliss. If you are sensitive, stop reading.
Whereas, if you'd like ideas regarding how to put an end to child molestation, misogyny, abuse of men, elder abuse, etc - - ideas to protect yourself, family, friends - - keep reading.
This post is aimed toward anyone under 55 years of age, for the simple fact that it requires some physical energy.
First, let us touch on the problem. Scroll if you want to go directly to the solution for any abuse.
As I type, the current issue is Lokanatha Swami. However, if it's not him, it's someone else. That's a part of our history which never gets corrected. There is a long laundry list. It is not my purpose to focus on them - only to bring awareness that these sad activities are real.
My goal? How to protect your child, self, spouse, friend, and spiritual life.
Yes, it needs to be recognized that even spiritual life is effected if these problems continue to be ignored or minimized. Then it may eventually boomerang back to your family if left unchecked. Healthy thinking and physical brain patterns can change, plus more, if wrong philosophies are made acceptable. It may not initially be noticeable to individuals because these others are expert at what they do.
Something I've noticed as a constant over decades, is that regardless of who is the abuser or molester, when there's a cover up, it involves some of the most outrageous philosophies: "It's cultural - Westerns would not understand [neither would Prabhupada!], or "The offender was naive and didn't know any better," or "It happened accidentally [repeatedly!]," or "It's not a big deal," or "The child wanted it," etc.
Do not fall for it, regardless who speaks. Regardless of the tone of voice, which can be alluring. [Again, they are expert.] Let us not take spiritual advice from anyone who ignores or minimizes abuse or molestation. When common sense goes out the window, trouble walks in the door.
Some believe it's their duty to stick up for an authority who fell-down if it is their guru. Show me any place in Prabhupada's books that says to support a fallen guru, as guru. It is not there.
The person you are responsible to is Srila Prabhupada. Don't make his Movement a social embarrassment. If you think the nondevotees don't know - they know! Who will join [or remain] if you do not prove our morals. The minute someone in a position of power strays, followers who care for Prabhupada at all, will not water down issues due to wrongly placed loyalties. If you're initiated by someone who fell down - take shelter of Prabhupada. Don't try to minimize seriously wrong actions as if they're not so bad. That's not helping anyone, but it is an offense to Srila Prabhupada.
What startled me was the sentimentality some employed, resulting in hurling curses and making death threats. That revealed how little of Prabhupada's teachings are known.
Some believe if a lot of service & chanting has been or continues to be preformed, it's acceptable to commit sin. This is not true - please read the 7th of the Ten Offenses.
Others naively stick up for that which is wrong as if it were loyalty, when it's actually revealing unawareness of Prabhupada's highest philosophy. Disciples are supposed to read Prabhupada's [unchanged] books daily. Especially his personal letters as well as his conversations, which help gain a deep comprehension of what he wanted. With all the adult tantrums currently being thrown, it does not sound like some are doing that.
Evidence that some do not know the philosophy is the claim of a guru being God incarnate. Tamala Krsna M asked Prabhupada if he/Prabhupada was God? Prabhupada jeeringly replied that when he died then Tamala can become God too. There's another example from 1969. Newspaper reporters saw so many young devotees bowing to Indian Swami [Prabhupada]. Noticing their observance, Srila Prabhupada told them that the spiritual master is to be worshiped as God. Next he said, "But, if the spiritual master thinks that he is God, then he is dog." Disciples should be careful of what they say. And please study. Don't stop in the middle of a conversation or quote. Read all of it in it's entirety.
Now others were more calm, may be chanting their rounds, attending Morning & Evening Programs, doing service. But if blindly following in the name of loyalty, one can't help to wonder if they, or anyone doing that, are taking time out of each day to 'study' Srila Prabhupada's writings deeply. After all, daily personal reading [not only class] was an instruction of his, and it will help us pan out what is sentimentality and what is proper following.
"Religion without philosophy is sentiment, or sometimes fanaticism, while philosophy without religion is mental speculation." BG 3.3, P
Additionally, is it always about defending your guru, or is it about yourself? Too uncomfortable to admit it's level of seriousness? Hard to accept you worshiped the wrong person for years? Difficult to renounce attachment to him? ...Ego plays a big role here. Be honest, do inner work, and keep the false ego in check.
We do not have to surrender to something that is out-of-sync with Prabhupada. If an authority tells you something strange is in line with Prabhupada and you feel that's off, go check it out.
Any authority worth their salt will have no problem with their instruction being checked against Prabhupada's.
Whereas, if they are trying to twist Prabhupada's words in an attempt to merge them with their own odd or stinking-thinking, well, they should not be in a position of power in the first place.
There is a popular misunderstanding that the GBC must be surrendered to all the time, no matter what they instruct. However, Prabhupada did not put them on such an absolute platform. They must be able to do what Prabhupada set up as their service. If they can't, we are not to follow them.
When they sound less spiritual and more often like bureaucrats, our reading of their yearly by-laws may no longer be important. Read them if you wish, simply, reading Prabhupada's instructions are far more important.
This is not against the GBC principle. Srila Prabhupada instructed that we should have a GBC. However, he also said they must be qualified. No blind following pleaseeeeeeee.
"But the difficulty is that our GBC men are falling victim to maya. Today I trust this GBC and tomorrow he will fall down." Srila Prabhupada Letter to Jayatirtha -- Bombay 16 December, 1974
"What will happen when I am not here, shall everything be spoiled by GBC?” - Srila Prabhupada Letter, April 11th, 1972
“GBC does not mean to control a center. GBC means to see that the activities of a center go on nicely. I do not know why Tamal is exercising his absolute authority. That is not the business of GBC. The president, treasurer, and secretary are responsible for managing the center. GBC is to see that things are going nicely but not to exert absolute authority. That is not in the power of GBC. Tamal should not do like that. The GBC men cannot impose anything on the men of a center without consulting all of the GBC members first. A GBC member cannot go beyond the jurisdiction of his power.” — Srila Prabhupada Letter to Giriräj, 8-12-71
“Now has the GBC become more than Guru Maharaja? As if simply GBC is meant for looking after pounds, shilling, pence.” Srila Prabhupada Letter, November 10th, 1975
"Therefore we have created these GBC. So they should be very responsible men. Otherwise, they will be punished. They will be punished to become a śūdra. Although Yamarāja is a GBC, but he made a little mistake. He was punished to become a śūdra. So those who are GBC's, they should be very, very careful to administer the business of ISKCON. Otherwise they will be punished. As the post is very great, similarly, the punishment is also very great. That is the difficulty. You can see from this example, Vidura. He was immediately punished. He did little mistake..." - Srila Prabhupada - on SB 1.13.15 -- Geneva, June 4, 1974
I am not anti-GBC. I am anti-doing-it-wrong. And anyone who is truthfully pro-GBC will also be against them doing it wrong so the GBC will not incur the above mentioned karma. Yes, I give a hoot about my godbrothers.
Moving on .... Does the mere thought of someone inappropriately touching your child, grand child, or friends child - upset you? Good! If not - I can't help you; please see a therapist.
For those who find it disturbing, it's time to bring it to an end. How? You can't be lethargic. Lethargy helps problems grow, even if they are not [yet] effecting you or your family. They will. Maybe one way, or another unforeseen, unexpected way - but they will. Our history has proven this, repeatedly.
There are things you can do. First, be cautious. Do not blindly trust in someone just because they attend the same church/ temple, or are in a position of authority.
Remember, anyone can join. And that's good. However, they must be willing to undergo training. And take to it. Decades back, authorities made sure they took to it. But not so much anymore. If they do not accept the process cent per cent, they may be dragging with them luggage from their past. How can you know? You can't. That's why there must not be blind trust, or because everyone else trusts so-and-so, therefore you should too. No. Investigate, courteously.
It may require time to see the areas some have not purified out of themselves. In Krishna Consciousness, like when making ghee, impurities rise to the top. A person gets to make the choice to get rid of them, or keep them. Not everyone may notice this is going on, as it's their internal battle.
And yes, this can include authorities. I'm not bad mouthing. I've seen it, over and Over and OVER. We wish all such persons well - simply - do not follow them on mere faith, or because others are doing it thus devotee peer pressure. Authorities should always be willing to have their words or instructions checked against Prabhupada's.
Next, do not send your children away NOR allow overnights. And check out their teacher, including when they're not trying to impress you but during a normal school day. [Many teachers are innocent, so do it politely.]
Considering all that has happened for decades, Day Gurukula is far better ashrama. I have often been told, & heard: "Prabhupada wanted all the children to go to Gurukula." Yes, he did. This was the instruction! What to do? So I thought. Duh it hit me. :) We never had a real Gurukula to start with!
Authorities, let us know when you actually create such a safe, loving, sane, healthy, etc, ashrama that is free from abuse and kindly promotes love of Krishna. Because so far, too many of them were either hot-spots pedophiles went to find their next victims, or places narcissistic religious fanatics/bullies gravitated toward so they could find children to release their desire to beat or to brainwash. None of that is Gurukula! Stop stealing Prabhupada's name for such bogus schools, do punish those who deserve it. And until authorities create a truthfully safe overnight school - Daytime Gurukula is the way to go.
Why wait for them to do what they have not been able to do for decades? Anyone can start their own. Begin learning how to home school and simply Krishnaize it. It's often much better, and safer, when loving parents start a little home-school with a few kind friends. Learn how, but do it.
In U.S.A, should you discover factual abuse or molestation - do not - I repeat, do NOT go to the temple authorities! Do call the real, legitimate police or social services and make a "legal" report/arrest! ISKCON is not good at policing itself, so let that be done by the current yuga kstriya's - law enforcement.
Some feel there is an advantage when reporting to both the karmi law and our authorities. I'm mixed on this because often Iskcon authorities tell you they will take care of it, but do not. That can even make it worse. However, if you still want to report to both, FIRST call the nondevotee police! IMHO this can not be stressed enough. Go to the legal, nondevotees first and foremost!
UPDATE: Just read that in some countries or places, people are afraid for their life if they report any type of abuse to the police. And in some cases, even to temple authorities. This is shocking! Prabhupada would be so displeased! But what can I say? Most import: BE SAFE! Do not do anything that would harm you or your child or any victim. [Which includes not shaking things up - stay under the radar even if you do something. And google safest ways to do it.] Maybe you need to move in order to get away from an abuser. Maybe something else. Please try to figure it out because I do not know much that can be done if you can not report to anyone! Though I do have one more major idea. That is explained below, under "WHAT CAN YOU DO?" It still may require relocating, but it may not. You will figure it out in accordance to your personal situation. Anyway, it's what Prabhupada wanted, and a new start for those who need or want one! A safe place for everyone.
If this post bothers your mind, making you wonder if you should protect ISKCON "by" covering up serious offenses, stop and consider:
It is not your job to protect ISKCON, it is ISKCON'S job to do that. If they do nothing wrong, or if they themselves arrest the sinners, then they are properly protecting iskcon. Your job is to protect your child! Which in turn will protect the spiritual life of your child, if that is one of your worries.
Prabhupada: “Child-worship is more important than deity-worship. If you cannot spend time with him, then stop the duties of pujari. At least you must take good care of your son until he is four years old, and if after that time you are unable any more to take care of him then I shall take care. These children are given to us by Krishna, they are Vaishnavas and we must be very careful to protect them. These are not ordinary children, they are Vaikuntha children, and we are very fortunate we can give them chance to advance further in Krishna Consciousness. That is very great responsibility, do not neglect it or be confused.” - Prabhupada Letter to Arundhati dasa, July 30, 1972
Stop doing ISKCON's job for ISKCON. Start protecting children, the little Vaisnava's and Vaisnavi's who Prabhupada said waited in line to take birth in this Movement.
When there is a CPO [Child Protection Office] that the GBC has power to block or over-rule, and has done so, we need to turn first and foremost to the law. These children deserve genuine protection and "that" is our duty - to protect "them." [See Update on this page.]
“It is very good news that Vishnu-arati is advancing nicely in Krishna Consciousness and I know that you and your husband will always do your best to bring her up on the right path of Krishna Consciousness. To raise one soul to Krishna Consciousness is counted by Krishna as a very great service, so you do this duty very carefully and Krishna will certainly bestow His blessings upon you.” - Srila Prabhupada Letter, 2/11/69
Sorry, but I feel iskcon authorities try to convince us to feel guilt if we are not helping them lift their load via responsibility to protect iskcon, when there are quotes from Prabhupada that instruct our big responsibility is to our children:
“Now you husband and wife must work together combinedly with great responsibility for raising your new child in ideal Krishna consciousness. Children learn by imitation of their, so if you both set Krishna conscious example the child will very naturally and easily become advanced in Krishna consciousness by following.” - S.P. Letter to Jagadisha dasa, July 9, 1970
It is not setting a good example to help brush sins/abuse under the carpet; but it is a good example (in U.S.A.) to report it to the police, to (legal) Child Protective Services, and so on. Anyone who doubts this as a good example and right thing to do, can ask a Gurukuli who went thru it - some who even left because they had no support, no therapy, no belief, no help.
I wish I had the legal solution for each country. Sadly I can only speak for America, as we have decent laws against child abuse. But they only work if it is reported! [Please remember the UPDATE, above.]
Canada and Europe may have similar laws.
Countries that are not sufficiently strict may have hidden laws that, if discovered, could be very helpful. Please use them, and if you uncover any secrets to help arrest a pedophile in other countries, let it be known!
However as the update now points out, always do it by keeping your child, self, victims - safe first and foremost! Learn "how" before doing.
Some have pointed out that in certain cases a female child was not dressed modestly [wore shorts], and/or was starting to turn into a young woman even though her age was young.
These Gurukuli's have been thru so much I could care less what they wear. It does not reveal their consciousness and attachment to Krishna. Besides, a girl wearing shorts in her own home where she can relax and let down - that's considered a safe place to do so. [We wore only slips & choli's in the brahmacarini ashrama. I was told, at that time in India the women took off their saree when the men went to work and also only wore slip/choli].
No one should think that because they disapprove of ones attire, that person is not good enough, so they may as well exploit them. That's merely an excuse to take advantage, coupled with arrogance of believing ones self as superior. What superior person - exploits? [Rhetorical.] If you can't help someone, walk away.
Besides, I have seen fully saree-clad 8 year old little girls in the temple room, innocently wander over to the men side, when next the parents were told she is agitating the men, to bring her back to the women side. What nonsense!
If someone can not control themselves while in a house with a girl child, first they need to leave. Next, they need to either get therapy, go back into the ashram for more training on how to absorb themselves 24/7 in thoughts of Krishna - possibly both. For someone to blame the victim for their own sexual weakness is an offense.
Then there is going out on Sankirtana or preaching at Festivals. How can we help the public accept Krishna if seeing scantily clad women is so disturbing that some think it makes it ok to exploit her instead of save her. There are girls and women everywhere. If some men can't handle it and feel the need to take advantage, let them go to the forest as Prabhupada said to Tamala Krsna M.
Another excuse, in this case, is that we are bigoted against a dark bodied authority or guru. This startled me. Anyone who knows our philosophy, knows the very basic ABC's are: Aham Brahmasmi or I am not this body, I am spirit soul. If someone does not believe this, does not live it, then they do not understand Prabhupada's teachings. In which case, they should not be getting involved. Bonafide initiated disciples don't care what color someone is, therefore those making such accusations should start doing the same. We only care about right treatment and that requires keeping the eyes truthfully open.
It has been said complaints about such abuses from us former mlecca's and still Westerners, are an attempt to impose our liberal ideals onto India. However, Srila Prabhupada himself cried when he found out about Gurukula abuse! While I am not happy to have taken birth as mlecca I find it far more offensive to minimize the sin of child molestation! No one should be chest-thumping they are automated higher birth if they hold fast to the belief that child molestation is not a serious offense.
The day sexual molestation of anyone but especially a child, becomes minimized as so-called liberal idealism, reduced to no big deal, or acceptable as cultural - is the day the purity of Srila Prabhupada's teachings go down the drain.
Let us remember, we are not practicing Hinduism. We are practicing, or working toward, transcendental consciousness of Krishna.
"And that Mataji, she has taken land. I don't like that idea. Some Hindus are supporting. I don't want a Hindu temple. Our constitution is different. We want everyone. Kṛṣṇa consciousness is for everyone. It is not a Hindu propaganda." Srila Prabhuada Meeting with Devotees -- June 9, 1969, New Vrindaban, USA.
Further details, quotes, and clarification that what Prabhupada teaches is not Hinduism, can be found in the link below this post.
The many angles of excusism used to justify abuse are endless. For each one defeated, some can concoct a new one. I'm not going to go into each one forever. Let truth seekers find truth. Blind followers will have to remain blind 'until' they choose to awaken.
Therefore, don't write me with any other perspectives you think I should consider. This is not up for debate. Child molestation is a crime, a sin, vaisnava-aparadha, maya nonsense, breaks the 4 regulative principles, and more. Any other opinion is not open for discussion. If you truthfully care about ISKCON, the person hurt, or even the offender - you will support the suggested right actions.
Small precaution: Make sure it is really going on. There are times when it's not true. But in our society we see it is usually true. Especially after a child was sent away, or around many strangers, etc. Collect evidence! While it is rare for anyone to personally see sexual crimes, even the law [in USA] allows circumstantial evidence, takes it seriously, especially when there is a lot of such evidence.
I've seen enough Gurukuli's messed up [even commit suicide!] because people want to sit around in Ivory Towers talking about all the many perspectives. It's time to DO something.
WHAT CAN YOU DO?
In addition to the above, IMHO one extremely important step to take in order to genuinely put a stop to pedophiles and misogynists: OPEN YOUR OWN TEMPLE. How on earth does that help?
Simple. If independent temples are opened, and kept small, there is less chance of cruelty or exploitation. Then if abuse happens, there is also less likely to be tolerance of such crimes. Instead, it's more natural for parents etc to call the police or karmi Child Protection Services, and have an arrest made. [Remember, do it safely and with know-how.] Not all the mubo jumbo excusisim in the name of God. Poor Krishna, blaming everything on Him. sigh
I realize that many devotees these days do not seem to want to open a temple. I also do not understand this, finding it bizarre, since my generation loved to do that. Wishing I knew the right motivation or words to assist readers in getting serious enough to get up off their chair after reading this post, phone a few like-minded devotee friends, and start the opening of a small, sane, loving temple. [Hint, hint! :-) ] All I can do is try to write this blog post, and hope some idea's will tickle your fancy enough to get you moving.
Some point out there are no new temples opening because devotees argue, or they can't get everyone on the same page. I had to consider this. After some honest thought, here is my personal conclusion:
So what? Simply do what you know how to do to open one, then purification will come automatically while living it when properly following. Over time this will facilitate everyone to get on the same page, or at least find some common ground. Do not avoid opening temples merely because you can't get everyone to agree. You don't need everyone, only a few. After all, Prabhupada - a pure devotee - did not get everyone. He was happy with who he did get though.
And/or, how about this for motivation?
Did some authority mess you over? Did someone take your apartment/house out from under your feet? Or your job/service? Did someone humiliate you repeatedly? Have you or a friend been severely hit but it was brushed under the carpet by authorities? Do you even suspect someone may have hurt your child, or any child - yet you have to see that individual at the temple, or worse, hear them give class? Have you been exposed to far too much political jargon to make wrong things appear right, and you are feeling a lack of enough spiritual katha?
For these, and other similar reason's, it's time to detach from the huge corporate ISKCON, and for the sake of yourself or loved ones, open a temple. Help bring this to an end:
It is not that the above goes on all the time or everywhere. No. The problem is that when it goes on, not enough legal action is taken. Similar to how the Catholic Church responds. Thus this post.
Now, some readers may think I am anti-iskcon. No, you might even be able to legally call your temple iskcon [like iskonbangalore did]. Tho do check it out with the law. And there's nothing wrong with giving it other names, like "Radha Krishna Temple" via George Harrison recording, or "Bhakti Yoga Center," so on and so forth.
Simply, when a religious organization is so big, making decisions on phones in offices away from real people or actual situations, and their decision-making has no effect on them - they may loose awareness.
Let others who can really fix them, take them on. If you can't fix it, and most of us can not, then start your own temple.
It doesn't have to be huge or fancy, just clean. Keep it small in numbers. Keep it in line with Prabhupada. Keep it safe. Do a Morning and Evening Program. Perform various services throughout the day. Harinama is fun to do! :) Prabhupada has instructed all of us to open temples. We need to stop ignoring this instruction:
"Yourself, Tamala, Mukunda, Hamsaduta, Syamasundara—all of you are in now double strength, so please do things very enthusiastically and organize the world Sankirtana Party because in India the people are already expecting us next year. Also open as many branches as possible." Srila Prabhupada letter to Umapati das, LA Ca, April 26, 1970
"Every householder, husband and wife together, they require to live in an apartment, so if they have got an extra room, they can immediately start a center." - Srila Prabhupada letter to Vamanadeva, Tittenhurst, 21 October, 1969
"It is not unnecessarily we are opening so many centers. No. It is for the benefit of the human society." - Srila Praabhupada Lecture on SB 6.1.49 -- New Orleans Farm, August 1, 1975
"Regarding opening branches in Laguna Beach, you know I am always very much enthusiastic to open branches, so if another branch can be opened for propagating Krishna Consciousness, it is always welcome. " ~ Srila Prabhupada Letter to Tamala Krsna, New Vrindaban June 17, 1969
"All these newses are to me life-giving ambrosia, so the more you open branches, the more I increase my duration of life." SP letter to Sridama - Los Angeles 10 April, 1970 [Yes, he is still here. Tho different, but present, so lets keep him present.]
If in your little temple, God forbid but one day abuse or molestation is committed, and you know for certain that it has been committed, the philosophy preached followed by actions should be to call the police and arrest them. [Safely and with know-how.] Then, back to Krishna Consciousness. We will be more Krishna Conscious this way, not less.
Cover-ups and dishonesty in the name of so-called preaching or so-called helping our society, has instead damaged our reputation. That philosophy is backwards thinking. It even reduces effectiveness of our Sankirtana and Harinama.
IMHO it's also a way some [not all] authorities can be lazy and avoid genuinely dealing with the problem, nor learn how to! Simply trying to get everyone to pretend that it's not so bad, or if we were more spiritual we could handle it, so on and so forth - is nonsense. In that way they don't have to lift a finger, can sit back and drink their chai. :) It's time they step up to the plate and do their jobs the way Prabhupada instructed this service to be done.
It is honesty, and correct dealings, that will change our reputation. These qualities will also increase our spiritual life because once we get the person causing trouble out of the picture, we can get back to our devotional service and won't have to spend a lot of time hiding this, that, or the other thing that was wrong - again.
If people do not make a choice, thinking, hoping, it will all get resolved even tho it has not for decades - then a choice will automatically be made, usually by the material energy, and often for the worst.
Therefore, you ARE making a choice. Doing nothing and just sitting on the sidelines, "is" doing something. It's letting more children etc be harmed, and Prabhupada's Movement go down the tubes.
Honesty is the best policy - and the last leg Mother Bhumi stands on in this age. To close our eyes and pretend everything is ok when it is not, is karmic. Don't let it's severity bounce back on you. Take action - open a safe temple or support those who are doing so.
"A person who knows things as they are and still does not bear witness becomes involved in sinful activities." - Caitanya Caritamrita, Madhya 5.90
"There was a poetry by Rabindranath Tagore. The purport of the poetry is that one who is mischievous, he is culprit. But one who tolerates mischievous activity, he is also culprit. If you are mischievous, you are criminal. But if you tolerate mischievous activities that is also criminal." - Srila Prabhupada Conversation, May 3, 1973
Of course, if going thru something personal, one may not be able to get involved. That is different, and should be consciously noted as different so others do not use it as an excuse.
Some may ask, what about mercy for the abuser or molester? Maybe they need therapy? Or some other form of help? Or fond of quoting Bhagavad-Gita 9:30 where the devotee is forgiven for any action?
First, that verse is not a free license to intentionally commit sins behind closed doors [7th of 10 Offenses] then try to wiggle out of those actions through service. The verse is for devotees no longer engaging in such actions but are instead maintaining a pure lifestyle. Is an accidental slip forgivable? Sure. But it's not "all one." They are not all on the same level. Details differ depending on what went on. And it's certainly not about keeping one foot in, one foot out; following when everyone is looking, but dong whatever they feel like doing when they're not. Especially if an offense was Vaishnava aparadha. Add to that, if it's someone in a high position with power over others, they should not have such a weakness and uncontrolled senses.
Forgiveness can not be voted in, demanded, or granted by society. It must be given by the victim. Nor should they be forced to do so by others who did not go thru it, or anyone at all. The offender must first exhibit truthful remorse, coupled with real steps to change any such thinking or hidden propensities of that nature. This seldom magically goes away. It often requires professional help. And the victim gets to feel whatever they feel for however long it takes them to mend, or to forgive. This is one reason why it is so important that we do not offend each other!
"...if Krsna consciousness is covered by material sins, one can eliminate the sins simply by chanting the Hare Krsna mantra, but if one pollutes his Krsna consciousness by offending a brahmana or Vaishnava, one cannot revive it until one properly atones for the sin by pleasing the offended Vaishnava or brahmana.” ~ Srimad Bhagavatam 4.26.24
Of course, we recognize two stages of grief are denial and anger. It appears there's a lot of that going on. We hope it will soon progress to the next stages because there can be a karmic reaction when misusing shastra to justify wrong actions. Be careful.
"Satyam. This word means that one should not distort the truth for some personal interest. In Vedic literature there are some difficult passages, but the meaning or the purpose should be learned from a bona fide spiritual master. That is the process for understanding the Vedas. Śruti means that one should hear from the authority. One should not construe some interpretation for his personal interest." - Bhagavad-gita As It Is 16.1-3, P
Any offender is welcome to seek help. That is not the job of the victim, nor the overall population, which should be protected from such persons. An abuser can certainly take the appropriate action to go and get therapy. We wish them well and to heal. Simply, only they can fix themselves or walk into a therapists office - followed by sincerely doing the work. No one can do any of this for them. They must show genuine interest and do it for themselves.
Plus, anyone, no matter what they have done, can be a devotee in their home. "This" is where Bhagavad-gita 9:30 applies! They can still be practice Krishna Consciousness and continue to undergo the purification process. However, they do not need to attend - putting our children, women, or the elderly - at risk.
Let persons with such problems worship at home, or thru the internet. The combination of therapy and private worship is where there may be hope. Not pretending it's unreal or not that bad. Keep them away from the rest of the devotee populace.
Just as fixing Iskcon is not our job, fixing the abuser or molester is also not our job. Are you a fixaholic? :) We can't fix everyone. That's impractical, overwhelming, and an over-endeavor = cause of falldown. We have to first and foremost save ourselves, and family.
Matter of fact, we are doing the offender a disservice by sweeping their sins under the rug. Karma after death, or next life for that person, will be worse than accepting their consequences in this life.
Next, what guru to worship at your new temple? IMHO, why take risks? The undoubtedly pure devotee Srila Prabhupada would be my recommendation. If you disagree but do not know what guru to trust, for now worship Srila Prabhupada and see where that goes. After all, if we are not clear in Prabhupada's teachings, if some authorities can misuse his words and we do not recognize that, than how can we know if someone is properly representing them? [Rhetorical.] Sure, you feel you know all this. Great! However, after 47 years of being a devotee, I am still finding quotes that surprise me! This is blissful, ever fresh knowledge. Put time into studying his unchanged books.
What to speak of: "Do you know that every day even I read my own books? Do you know why I read my books? I read my books everyday because even I learn something new when I read them. Do you know why I learn something new when I read my books? Because these books are not my books - I do not write these books. Every morning when I sit here to write my books Krsna comes personally and he dictates to me what to write, I simply take dictation from Krsna and I write these books. Therefore when I read them even I learn something.” ~ Srila Prabhupada Room conversation with Bhagavat Das Vanachari, Bombay, 1974
Ok, I have said what I felt a strong push to speak, or type. Simply to reiterate: If you want abuse to stop repeating, instead of letting so many authorities be in charge of you, you become the authority in charge of yourself and loved ones by finding the ambition to open a small, peaceful, kind, temple. Set the example. Do not copy the wrong actions you've seen or read. Do not create your own either. :) It's easy to avoid these simply by sticking with, and always focusing on, Prabhupada's instructions regarding how to open and run a temple. Doesn't have to be fancy. Can start with a small daily gathering and a couple of spiritual pictures. See my links on how to make an altar at home, how to offer and worship at home, etc, at the sidebar. It's in the early date of the first posts I ever made.
Find inspiration that helps you take action, a few families at a time. You can thoroughly interview them if needed [google how to do this], but get going! :) IMHO it will please Srila Prabhupada.
RELATED HELPFUL POSTS OR LINKS:
Why Start A Temple? Ladies can also open temples, it's bonafide. :)
America: State Child Abuse and Neglect Reporting Numbers: Here is a list for the USA. Remember, child abuse is not someone who disciplines their child in a way you disagree. Abuse is horrid. And neglect is about "serious" neglect. Not a parent who is less than perfect but essentially okay. Report if you are aware any of that is going on.
A Fun, Spiritual Place - Your Home! :) While this and other posts on my blog explain you can do it for yourself at home - please don't let that stop you from opening temples, because Prabhupada also wanted you to open them!
INDIA - For victims of crimes committed in India link." If you have difficulty reporting the crime"( to local L.E.,)," please contact the Embassy or Consulate...."
I do not know much about this link or this connection. I have been informed the police in some countries can easily be paid off by the bad guys. However, maybe not the Embassy or Consulate. Anyway it at least was worth putting here, now you decide.
This and That - Related issues discussed.
The Old Days - Now A Days - See how you can recreate it for yourselves.
Proof That The GBC Have Lost Touch with the people, with what their own service is according to Srila Prabhupada's instructions about GBC, are not sufficiently caring about those hurt, making arm-chair decision from offices without comprehending what has happened or the pain it causes. Tho I am not a follower of the particular devotee who made the video comments - at all - and do not endorse him. However, in this case I believe he gave a good synopsis of what goes on when they think no one is looking.